Merry Christmas to my AWESOME fans. You're the BEST!!!

To all my AWESOME FANS.... 

Happy being Merry while Best.

While your family is gathered around your Christmas tree and singing "O...", don't forget to think about me and how awesome I am and you am for being a fan of me.  Thanks again for being the BEST!  

Only MY awesome fans are the BEST at Merry Christmas!

The Christmas Storm | Album Cover Idea circa 2000

Wicked Pissah Instrumental Beat

So I'm working on a cover/Weird Al Type version of

Ice Cube's song "Wicked" and I found the original samples that he used in his song so I can figure out what the fuck was going on with the music in the original.  So here it is.  Enjoy it's wicked pissahness.

Every Day I'm Bustin' It

Thanksgiving Night (Last Night) I worked on a new song by me 

covering Rick Ross's "Hustlin'" and decided it was too gangsta for me to redo it any justice.  So I changed the name to "Bustin' It" since every day I AM busting it... 

"it" being my ass off.    

So I plan to change the words from the original song to ones the better describe what I do.  I don't sell cocaine, I don't know Noreiga, but I DO let it WHIP REAL GOOD.

anyway, here's the friggin mix.

You can download it HERE for FREE if you're too dumb to figure out how to click the little pic of the shopping card on the top right corner of the Soundcloud plugin.

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING AND TUNING IN!

You can check out the original video of HUSTLIN' by RICK ROSS by clicking HERE 

OR

 by going to Youtube and searching for it once you realize I put fake links above cause fuck it.

I'm the best.  Peace out.  Sex.

Black Friday

"SHUT UP, We're making CHRISTMAS!!!!"

I hope I didn't eat too much yesterday and ruin my training for today's fights for the best gifts. I'm in top notch condition to beat the shit out of any old lady or child who dares to get in the way of such ridiculous holiday savings!

No one will stop me from spreading Christmas cheer to the face, neck, or entire head. I know I only accept presents from anyone but isn't the BEST present, one that caused blood to be spilled?

Today is not the day to choose to be a pussy.

If you see that ONE and only gift that will buy your child's happiness and possibly cause him or her to look away from the phone for a few seconds, then by all means, go ballistic and get that fucking thing!

You'll regret it if you DON'T punch that old lady.

Kriss Kross member found dead?!?! Last MAY!?!?!

Half of the Group "Kriss Kross" died recently.   I had no idea

I recently Googled "Kriss Kross" to see when they released the song "Jump" so I could reference the correct year when writing the description for my cover version of JUMP, now available for purchase in the store at JERKBEATS.com  (BUY MY COVER VERSION HERE)  
and I saw this on the following video on the first page of results at Google.

NBC REPORTS Death of Chris Kelly earlier this year

VIDEO NO LONGER AVAILABLE> 

 CHECK OUT THE ORIGINAL STORY HERE

I felt strange upon reading that news...

2>

Although I HATED that song "Jump" and the two little kids more, I have completely changed my mind about both.

 I have since realized that my tastes, likes, dislikes, habits, issues, cares, worries, etc... constantly change with time and I now think it's funny (and enlightening) to think what a real stupid dip ship I used to be, am still, and will be for my entire life.  Don't get me wrong, NOW I'm the BEST... AWESOME at everything... BUT, future me will probably look back at present me and wonder what the fuck present me was doing just as I look at past me and laugh, shake my head, and pity that stupid jerk wad.  lol

That's ok though....

Since I've recently understood that past me didn't know shit

and neither do I... in the future.  No one KNOWS anything.  Everyone's a fool. EVERY ONE. (except me)

It's only a very small percentage of humans who know this, and understand it.  I used to be one of those fools.  I will be again someday.

Now Jump Around Like a Foolish Fool!

Don't forget to go to JERKBEATS and buy it now on sale!  While there's still time!

Halloween Music | Michael Myers Theme | Scary

So I figured out the theme to Halloween at some point last year.

And, as it turns out, I remembered right in time for All Hallow's Eve.

Trick or Treat?

Download it for FREE if you want.  Happy Halloween. 

  

Throw Back Thursday #TBT

Two of the Three Kings... I think

My brother and I (left to right) via 1979!

Recording Sir Charles for Brothermaniac Song

Brothermaniac's Next Planned Single...

Sir Charles came over today to record some vocals for Brothermaniac's next single release, "Traffic Jam." 

Stay tuned for more info...

Manufuture by Derk Jickface

Manufuture by Derk Jickface

Recording vocals using time lapse for the first time

Trying out Hootsuite

Right Now I'm trying out HootSuite using my Blogger app on my iPhone five iOS 8. That is all… LOL… USA… Number one.

Goal Achieved in a week

It only took one week to accomplish an awesome goal

You may have read on one of my many posts, that I had received 1000 plays in a week on SOUNDCLOUD  and was proud that I had set up a realistic goal and achieved the desired satisfactory results.  That was only a few weeks ago...a month maximum.   I just noticed today that I'm up to 1.9K plays in the last 7 days. Although I didn't make hitting 2000 a goal, it still only took one week.  lol 

The Re Release of Brothermaniac INC

Get Brothermaniac's first ALBUM for FREE!

It's FREE!

REMASTERED

DOWNLOAD BROTHERMANIAC INC. 

& 

NOW AT JERKBEATS!

NEW Jerkbeat Loop for FREE!

NEW SHORT LOOP YOU CAN DOWNLOAD

and use for your own purposes for whatever

at

What A Gasshole [Grossbeat Mix]

My High School Senior Superlative Achievement

Ya.. so... ummm....  

I just found out what the hashtag #TBT stands for on Facebook, Twitter, etc. and:

1. WTF is wrong with me?
2. I couldn't figure it out that it must have had SOMETHING to with with at least, Thursday?
3. I also didn't connect the obvious dots that it had something to do with the past and happened once a week? 
4.  I seriously thought the first two words meant "To Be..." like "TBA" or "To Be Continued." now that I'm actually thinking and posting about it.  haha... so dumb.
5. I Google EVERYTHING and I never got around to or even thought about searching for #TBT?
6.  I don't even have to type anymore to search for things BTW...( thanks to Siri and her partner Wifi)

So, here's my first post for Throw Back Thursday.  

It may be my last, it may be the first of a kajillion... IDK.  We'll see I guess...

The Official Unofficial Biography of Derk Jickface REVEALED!

Biography of an Awesome DJ who's convinced he's the BEST

Wanna hear it?  Here it go.

BIOGRAPHY

OF A REAL PERSON by Derk Jickface That time I met him, I was like  DAMN!  -Rufus Klomp

Derk Jickface was born in the 70s, grew up as a kid in the 80s, graduated high school in the 90s, then became fucking awesome.

THE EARLY JERK GETS THE WORD

Derk played the trumpet in grade school, took piano lessons from 4-6 grade, got his first keyboard at age 12, and his first drum set at 13 which he played while being in many high school bands. No one could touch his CASIO Keyboard playing. He'd click those pre-programmed beats with his right hand and hit chords with his left like nobody's business. For his first concert, he used his Mom's vinyl record player cabinet for a keyboard stand and, as his secret weapon, used himself to play the best song he made in 1987 for a screaming audience of C.I.D. kids.

THE DISCO JERK

Soon after that, he traveled back a decade in time  to the year 1977, when he was 2 yrs old and living in a golden age of eternal nightlife and dancing boogies on the disco yearrrghghgh ah ya... and quickly  became known as "The Disco Jerk" around the city streets of Disco City before performing in  a troupe of the BEST disco dancers Derk's ever been proud to share an impromptu life saving choreographed Disco Dance that ended up saving the entire Universe.

Then Derk decided to learn how to record and produce his own music by travelling forward in time, but aging backwards for some reason, to when he was in the 9th grade... when his awesomeness was already actively creating.

A TITLE FOR THE NEXT SECTION

He first learned to record audio signal on a Tascam 4 track analog tape "multi track" recorder. A few montages later, it was suddenly 1997 and Derk Jickface graduated college with an associates degree in science, a Masters in being the Best, and a doctorate of Dr. Dre's Beats.

AND THEN THE BIGGEST THING HAPPENED

Soon after graduating college, he became a licensed insurance agent for 13 years for no reason. It wasn't until 2010 when he happened to read an online guide book while trying to pass the time at his desk or something like that. The free E book was an indie survival guide for independent musicians which re inspired Derk to go back to doing what he loves....being the best at making awesome music and guaranteeing everyone that he is the best at everything.

THE FUTURE OF DERK JICKFACE REVEALED

He hopes to soon travel to the future to someday be High President John Earth Of America World City, who brings peace to Earth and saves the Universe by choreographing the perfect under wear dance. But then rules with an iron fist of justice and kung fu grip of bad assitude.

THIS D.J.'S GUARANTEE***

He promises to always guarantee that he will continue to do whatever he does that he thinks makes him such an awesome DJ who's the best at being awesome at everything all the time and forever.

Derk Jickface's Profile | Musicpage

Music Page Dot Com

Is pretty bad ass

Without the internet for a few days, it was REALLY tough to upload any music, video, artwork, or other ridiculous awesome shit that I think's wicked awesome.  So I didn't post a BLOG yesterday.  I've punished myself with lashings to the back and chewing on rocks and glass in hopes to trick myself into being obedient to my goals, objectives and dreams.  I dream of chewing rocks AND myself a lot by the way.

Click for Jick's Link to His Face's Music Page

Derk Jickface's Profile | Musicpage

Everything Is Awesome...

 Awesome like I am.

A small list of AWESOME things that happened in the past few days:

1. I watched the Lego Movie.  It was awesome.
2. I happened upon an animated Lego Star Wars series chronicling the adventures of Yoda after installing a wicked awesome TV remote control app on my awesome iPhone. The episode I recorded was awesome. 
3. I was wicked awesome at procrastinating

It only takes 3 awesome licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, so I bet that probably means something - Me [Derk Jickface 07/27/14]

 Awesomeness to the MAXIMUM: VOLUME ONE

Wicked Awesome Album Cover Art by SEAN HARTTER 

Dance. Yes, I said dance. Now shake your pants like you got ants

E.D.M.

Electronic Dance Music

Dedicated to all those who go out to the club and dance wicked hard to electronic dance music while your mind is filled with electronic dreams and sexy hopes of future coitus.  Get ready to....

Shake Your Pants 

& Get FREAKY Wid It

Stupid Shit

Recording music can be a lengthy and arduous process

So sometimes to interrupt the monotony and to appease my funny bone

I record stupid shit on the fly.   Below is a playlist of such ridiculous that I had fun making.

Thanks to anyone and EVERYONE who has EVER made me laugh hysterically.

What You Do To Me Girl

  Feel free to dowload for free for as long as it's free to download for free

What You Do To Me

by Derk Jickface

First time I laid eyes on you I wanted to know what was up with you,

I could see in you eyes the... it's like you remind me of something,

But you know what it is I did, 

I ain't done nothing. Who you messing with?

Such a surprise from someone who thinks she's nothing.

But you know what? 

Eventually, with enough dumb luck, it was plain to see,

That look in your eye, it clearly meant something to me,

Just to be around you makes me happy to be me.

What you do to me, I can't explain, what is there hope for?

What I do for you, I can't explain, is this what I've hoped for

To be, just to be with you... just to be around you,

Takes me away and makes me feel,

Like this is what life's for

Whatever it takes,

Whatever I make,

Where I am, your always a friend

I hope we're always together

And I know that in time this will probably end

As they say nothing's forever

What you do to me girl, can't you see that you're making me crazy?

And maybe that's what I deserve,

You ain't got the nerve to understand where I'm coming from,

But you know what is bothering me?

Suddenly you don't believe in me,

I can't explain

Just where your lines and your thoughts and your lies where they come from,

Just to be around you, don't you see?

Just to be with you, 

Takes me to a place,

Where I don't have to face reality inside of me,

Why don't you see it's meant to be you and me,

Is this what I prayed for?

What you do to me, I can't explain, what is there hope for?

What I do for you, I can't explain, is this what I've hoped for

To be, just to be with you... just to be around you,

Takes me away and makes me feel,

Like this is what life's for.

Special thanks to all the girls I fell in love with and ended up breaking up with cause I was a dummy.

Fall Down Proud Feat Mock Dog

It's that time again. time to unplug my mind from sleep's nebulous womb,

And steal my mind, like I must steal my mind every day at this time,

Because I have to strive.

Despite the apathy of not only those I don't know, but those I know too well.

Strive to outstretch my fingers toward the goal which looms before me.

How far away it is remains unknown but I sense it ever closer.

And one day my fingertips will graze it.

And one day my fingers will enclose it.

And one day my hand will clutch it.

And now within my grasp, I squeeze the core until it BURSTS, coating me in it's radiance..

For THIS I strive and if I fall, I fall proudly.

- Sean Hartter [Mock Dog]

[artwork by SEAN HARTTER]

I wake up, look around

Listening to all the familiar sounds

Before my feet even touch the ground

I got to wrap my head around

I don't know when ,or how

But today I will fall down

Before my feet even touch the ground

I know today I'll FALL DOWN PROUD.

Time, Time is mine

Watch it unwind

Time is mine, is mine, is mine

is MINE.

I wake up, look around

And I frown

Cause today I will fall down

I know today that I'll fall down

Before my feet even touch the ground

I know today that I'll fall down

Cause today I will fall down

I got to wrap my head around

I don't know when, or how

But today I will fall down

Before my feet even touch the ground

I know today I'll FALL DOWN PROUD.

Time, Time is mine

Watch it unwind

Time is mine, is mine, is mine

is MINE.

(dedicated to the memory of my AWESOME friend, bandmate, and brother SEAN HARTTER)

How does being an independent recording artist make me feel at times?

It Drives Me Fucking Crazy.

Sorry, had to say it. 

Lick My Butt Y'all

When I get frustrated at...

friends, family, associates and anyone else that gives me a "suggestion" or "advice" about my artistic career based on no information, no facts, no personal experience, or their own opinion....

This Is what I hear in my head.    LOL.

Thank you for your time.  If YOU are one of those people, you've wasted enough of mine.  

Rock on

DJ

Adobe Illustrator - My New Best Friend Forever

Obviously I'm wicked AWESOME at Photoshop.  

I mean, dig it.

Course, a lot of that had to do with watching SEAN go nuts with it for years.

So at some point whatever today is,

I watched 4 wicked fast tutorials online about Adobe Illustrator which took a total of like 12 minutes....

It took me a couple of hours to remember that it took me about a half hour to create the twobelow before passing out for two days.  

They're supposed to look like that.  I know what they look like. They look like the BEST!

Duh Duh Duh by Derk Jickface on SoundCloud -

Duh Duh Duh by Derk Jickface on SoundCloud - Hear the world’s sounds

This is Where I Live [Like An Animal]

Some inside footage of the apartment I love calling home.  I also can get rid of humans

with no trace since I'm a fucking pig apparently.  Email me and we can discuss payment

for my new "murdering" service that I just thought of.  LOL

This is what my recording studio looked like at some point in time.  It's not current.

I bet it's still cleaner than YOUR home recording studio!  Right?

I'm a big fat liar who is wearing pants that are on fire at first before....

KABOOOM..... A Big Caplosion goes KABOOOM!!!

So if you notice the post before this one & notice the posts' words and time stamp, you'll not only notice how long it's been since my last blog post but you'll notice how good you've become at noticing things that I point out for you to notice.    For instance, here's an example of  a few things that I've noticed that you might not have noticed without warning or any further notice.   

1. The previous post notes that the previous post was supposed to be the most last post 
2. I suppose it was mostly bogus
3. It sort-of toasts adieu to Google's blogger 
4. Note: "I'll no longer be using Google's blogger"
5. Turns out, it was all a crock of...
6. Shit

I hope you've noticed that I've totally overhauled DERKJICKFACE.COM for what I believe is NOW the most BESTEST fucking site in the entire universe! Have you noticed it yet?

Please NOTE and take notice of the website's new layout, branding, notability and overall awesomeness of the newly formatted site's appearance.  Then, be sure to notice & worship its simplicity as well ass it's ability to be the BEST and shit.